AVOID DOMESTIC HORRORS!
This man had lived alone. Unseen and unheard by his village neighbours for many a day. Not a single cry or gasp known to anyone as he lay dying. And then the stench came. Policemen had arrived to find his face, his nose, his ears devoured completely by his hungry cats. Domestic pets, once sweet and calming, ingested their master—their sole provider—for comfort, cuddles, and sustenance.
Which is why it is most vital for every home to keep
PUSSYCAT PIQUANT MORSELS
in their cupboard. Each tin of savoury mixture contains such essential nutrients as cod liver oil, offal, and mercury. For a finer, fluffier feline coat and a tail that pussy cannot keep down as it will be held high and aloft in contentment and enduring love for you, dear Master.
Purchase food for your pussycats from your local general markets
Do not die like this man.