INTERVIEW: Eye to Eye with The Good Ear Review’s Editor-in-Chief Bexindale-Webb and Guest Editor Phineas Gage

… a tin-cans-and-string conversation.

Tristram Stjohn Bexindale-Webb, Editor-in-Chief

Phineas Gage, self-induced lobotomy and railway man

Tristram: Welcome, Mr. Gage.

Phineas: Sir.

T: … Tristram.

P: Tristram.

T: No.  Sir Tristram.

P: Certainly.  Beg pardon.

T: Welcome to The Good Ear Review.  For now.  Not for long.  Guest Editor.  Merely a guest.  Welcome.

P: An honor, Sir Tristram, sir.

T: I see you have your railroad tapping-down-dynamite-spikey-thingy.

P: Yes, well, I call it an apple.

T: Aphasia?

P: Yes.  Among other things.

T: Such as?

P: Surliness, disagreeableness, tantrums, outbursts.

T: Oh my God!  Me, too!

P: Yes, so you can see why there’s a pall at cocktail parties we attend.

T: Not with me, no.

P: At least I have an excuse.

T: Rightyo, Guest Editor.  Guest.  I have none to offer for myself.  Merely years of abuse at Eton and a lack of breast milk.  I have not endured a massive head injury—

P: “Piercing.”

T: … head piercing.  That spikey thingy you have there …

P: My apple.

T: … your apple piercing your brain like that.  For the love of my God not yours!

P: Railway workers endure injuries.

T: … and profound personality changes.  And your first order of business as Guest Editor?  Guest.  For this week only.

P: I thought I’d rail against the staff of The Good Ear Review for starters.

T: Railway?  Haven’t you had quite enough?

P: No—rail.  Abuse.  Holler.  Yell at ’em.

T: Excellent.  Capital.  Start with our urchin.  He’s an easy target.

Please, Sir, I’d rather not …

T and P: QUIET!!  SCALAWAG!!

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