Dearest Ladies, so much that weakens you must be put to right!
Do you not require a respite from ails that ail you? Reprieve awaits you with the finest surgeon this land has to offer. Your spirits will lift, your hysteria will be quelled, and your life will be without the complex dramatics of a Shakespeare “problem play.” Surgeon Dr. Julius Merriweather suggests the very finest treatments for such lady complaints as:
… Dr. Merriweather suggests hysterectomy
… perhaps a womb removal followed by a sewing up
… ovary quelling
Corset suffocation rib smooshing
Unconsummated hysterical loin yearnings
… hysterectomy followed by sitz bath
… womb reduction with ovary hide and seek
Intermittent 360 degree spinning in place
… heroin, followed by blade
… perhaps an actual hysterectomy may be helpful
So much to be solved with a caring flick of a gleaming blade … and a reassuring smile from a surgeon who knows what’s what in the lady department.
Won’t you visit the Office of Dr. Julius Merriweather, Gentleman and MD? It is located off Harley Street near where that guy got killed.