A sponsor shills yet again …



from this …                                                 to this

Testimonials of  FAINTING DAINTIES EMOLLIENT are thus:

“We have always wanted to be ladylike and of the petite way. Our large hands, malevolent scowls, and love of raw beef have kept us away from the prospect of gentlemen callers. But with Fainting Dainties Emollient applied to the womby areas, we swiftly get struck ill and fall down dead at most dance halls and ice cream socials.”
The Forsbrand Sisters, Willoughby, Ohio

“I was sick into my embroidered handkerchief and was thusly engaged to be married within the quarter hour! How may I thank you, Fainting Dainties EmollientHow?”
Philomena Metheun at her debutante cotillion

“I like to fall down.”
Abigail Shunn, the bottom of the stairs

Every minute of unconsciousness is worth a lifetime of